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Surviving Adultery
When your spouse commits adultery, it may feel like the end of the world. You may be in such pain that you feel as though you literally cannot survive it. But you can. Your marriage might not, though; in fact, you have two ultimate choices—whether to end the marriage or to stay in it and heal the wounds.
Each of these choices has its benefits and its drawbacks.
Ending the marriage
- Benefits. You can save face and leave your pride intact. You are free to establish new relationships with people you can trust. You have everyone's sympathy. You can vent your anger through the divorce process. You donFt have to take any responsibility for your marriage's failure. You can seek revenge.
- Drawbacks. You will pay expensive lawyers' fees and court costs. You may still find it difficult to trust new people. You will never have to examine what went wrong in your marriage. You will wrestle with the anger, love, and hurt you still feel for the other person, and you won't have your most intimate confidante to discuss it with. You'll always wonder if you could have done things differently.
Saving the marriage
- Benefits. You made a vow and you kept it. You can be the better person. You can rebuild a relationship that's even better than the one broken by adultery. You can uncover and heal other problems your marriage had. You can feel confident that you can survive anything.
- Drawbacks. Others may question your decision to stay with your adulterous spouse. Your pride may be wounded. You may wrestle with anger or hurt longer than you expected.
Whatever you choose, you can survive adultery. Think carefully about your decisions, and don't hesitate to get the help you need.