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Infidelity and Divorce

Infidelity is astonishingly common among contemporary marriages. Sites such as InfidelityFacts.com and MensStuff.org estimate it as high as 50-65% for men and 40-55% for women. Considering those numbers, the national divorce rate in the United States of 53% doesn't seem so surprising. Two-thirds, or 66%, of marriages in which infidelity has been discovered end in divorce.

Time and time again, people who've been the victims of adultery—the cheated-on spouse—say that it's not so much the fact that their spouse had sex with another person that bothers them. It's the destruction of trust. In a marriage, each person opens his or her deepest self to the other—a process which requires significant personal risk. Nobody can take those kinds of emotional risks without a deep trust in their partner, and when that trust is betrayed, the emotional consequences are deep and lasting.

Of course, infidelity does not have to lead to divorce. The statistics above indicate that one-third, or 33%, of marriages in which infidelity has been discovered do not end in divorce. It is possible, with commitment, hard work, and counseling, to rebuild the trust on which every marriage rests. It's not easy, though; both partners must be absolutely committed to the marriage and the process of healing. Still, many people say that their partner's affair was a wake-up call, letting them know there were issues in the marriage they didn't even know were there. For some people, a partner's infidelity can be the catalyst to rebuilding a marriage stronger and better than it was before.