Infidelity - Infidelity spurs a whole range of emotions, and both spouses have to cope with those emotions.

Few people plan on infidelity, and fewer still think about the consequences of infidelity before the affair. Yet, affairs happen. Sometimes, the cheated-on spouse never finds out, but usually the truth does come out, either accidentally or by confession.

When the infidelity is out in the open, the cheated-on spouse experiences a series of crippling emotions. There is hurt that the cheater didn t love enough to stay faithful, feelings of betrayal that the cheater turned to someone else. Anger and resentment over the whole infidelity incident is something people often feel they can never get over.

All four emotions evoked by infidelity need to be allowed to work their course. You can t cut off any of them and hope to heal. Hurt and anger are well-known parts of the healing process. You have to fully experience the hurt first, followed by the anger, before you can heal.

The other two emotions, betrayal and resentment, are not unique to infidelity but usually associated with it. These emotions cut deeper than anger and hurt. The betrayal of infidelity rocks the very foundations of any relationship. Resentment can linger long after the infidelity - it can fester and worsen.

In order to recover from these wounds, the couple must actively work on the healing process. No one should expect the damage of betrayal and resentment caused by infidelity to simple go away if left alone. Yet no one should be allowed to nurse betrayal and resentment to use as a weapon over the cheating spouse. Deal with the emotions as you deal with all other aspects of the infidelity - openly, putting the past in perspective, and focusing on what you can change about the future.