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Infidelity: An Overview

Infidelity is commonly equated with extramarital sex, but it's really much more than that. Infidelity occurs in many different types of relationships, not just marriage; and it is at heart a betrayal of faith, meaning it can be emotional as well as sexual.

Sexual infidelity refers to sexual activity with someone other than one's partner, when that activity is in violation of mutually agreed upon standards of conduct. A wide range of physical activities can constitute sexual infidelity, from holding hands, hugging and kissing, to non-penetrative and penetrative sex. Even in so-called 'open relationships,' where one or both partners are emotionally monogamous but pursue outside sexual relationships, infidelity arises when one partner flouts the ground rules of the relationship.

Emotional infidelity, on the other hand, refers to non-physical involvement with another person, including flirting, telling secrets, and sharing inappropriate information. Emotional infidelity can also refer to sexually explicit messages sent through the phone or the computer. When these activities move beyond mutually agreed upon boundaries, they constitute a violation of trust.

The consequences of infidelity are numerous. They include a loss of trust, the entrance of a third person into an intimate relationship, feelings of abandonment, guilt, low self-esteem, and sometimes divorce.