Marriage and Family Counseling - When couples bring the entire family into the sessions, is that really such a good idea?

Marriage and family counseling is a type of therapy where children, siblings, or even parents may be invited to participate in the session. When others in the household contribute to the problem, and can benefit from fixing the problem, marriage and family counseling is ideal.

Marriage and family counseling may be the only way when you can t separate the problems of the couple from the problems of the family.

So, how do you know if your household should start marriage and family counseling?

Some things to consider:

Are you and your spouse prepared to expose others to the sessions? You and your spouse will never be as exposed to others in your household as you will during marriage and family counseling. It s important to know that each of you is up to it.

Are the children old enough? Honestly, some children may never be old enough to accept what they may learn in combined marriage and family counseling. Other children may be ready, and willing participants, at a young age.

If there is any doubt, don t bring your family to marriage and family counseling. Fix your marriage privately with your counselor. Then, you and your spouse will be better prepared, via a stronger marriage, for family counseling.

What is the commitment level of adult participants? Sometimes, adult household members, such as you or your spouse s siblings or parents, may be considered for inclusion in marriage and family counseling. However, the rules you apply when considering your children just won t work in this instance.

No adult is going to have the same desire to save your marriage as you and your spouse. Biases, past history, almost anything can diminish the effectiveness of such a participant in family and marriage counseling.

Unless you are absolutely sure, it s better to exclude these "others" from marriage counseling. Family counseling, after your marriage is stabilized, is more effective.

If you think that all of you are ready, discuss marriage and family counseling with your therapist. She may offer additional insight. However, if all of you agree, and are ready, marriage and family counseling may be one method of strengthening the bonds of love in the household, and solidifying the family.