Agreeing on a marriage counselor is a critical first step

Agreeing on a marriage counselor can often be one of the toughest obstacles of the process. It can also be one of the most frustrating.

Marriage counselors, despite objectivity training, still have personalities. Often, a therapist will seem to click with one spouse more so than the other. The other spouse, naturally, is distrustful of that first counselor. The other spouse wants the therapist that he or she clicked with!

It s quite the dilemma.

One thing you both should recognize is that your spouse is going to be distrustful of the therapist you prefer. And, if your spouse is distrustful, than there is no way the therapy can be effective.

It s a better to start the search for a marriage counselor over than to dig your heels in on someone your spouse doesn t trust.

If you hit this particular stalemate, consider crossing the problematic names off the list. Review the credentials of other counselors you found. Both of you create a thearpist short-list. If you re lucky, just might be a name that appears on both your lists right off the bat.

If you aren t that lucky, consider swapping the short lists. Focus on studying your spouse s short list. You may find that your objections to a particular name on your spouse s short list dissipate during this review process.

Working together, you and your spouse can find a marriage counselor you both trust.