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Can You Save Your Marriage Alone?
The short answer to this question is no. You cannot save your marriage alone.
However, like most things, the real answer is more complicated than that. A marriage takes two people to succeed and it takes two people to get into trouble. But there might be some things that you yourself are doing that are blocking any chance your marriage might have. If you change some of these things, then both of you can go forward with a plan to save your marriage together.
- Drug or alcohol abuse. If you're an addict, it will ruin your marriage. Not all couples with addictions divorce, but you will always have that third entity, that slave-master, dominating your marriage until you break free. And until that happens, no amount of counseling or resolve will help. Get help.
- Infidelity. If you are having an affair, exchanging flirtatious emails, or lying to your spouse about your activities, stop. Only when you reaffirm that your primary loyalty is to your marriage can you and your spouse begin the process of saving it.
- Abuse or anger issues. If violence (hitting, pushing, kicking) or verbal abuse (mocking, criticizing, humiliating, crazy-making) play any part in your relationship, it must stop immediately. It does not matter what the other person has done to provoke you. If you're the one doing it, get into counseling or anger management classes immediately.
Taking care of these issues will not save your marriage. However, if you get the help you need in any of these areas, you will then become a healthier human being, capable of joining with your partner in trying to save your marriage together.