topics

Find a Marriage Counselor banner

Free Marriage Saving Tips

Every marriage needs a little bit of help every now and then. Couples fall into patterns that are hurtful or simply no longer contributing to marital happiness, but there are ways to overcome that. Here are 5 tips that might save your marriage.

  1. Compliment your partner every day. Even if you don't feel like it. Everyone wants to hear some kind words; it makes a huge difference in how people see themselves and others. The nicer you are to your partner, the nicer he or she becomes.
  2. Listen actively. When your spouse tells you something, reflect it back to them. You are doing this not to attack them, but to make sure you heard and understood what they actually said. We often interpret our partners' words in ways they didn't mean. Repeat the actual words before you respond.
  3. Change the steps. You and your partner have been doing the same old dance, and it isn't working. If you change your steps, the other person will be forced to change theirs, too.
  4. Put some money in your pockets. Both of you get some "walking around money," that is, money that can be spent without any accountability. This keeps one adult from having to account to another for every cent they spend. You'll be amazed at how much difference $20 of your own can make.
  5. Let it go. What are the 5 things that really matter in your marriage? Your list might include being treated respectfully or being able to trust my spouse. Chances are your list doesn't include spouse loads dishwasher from back to front or spouse lines up shoes in color order in closet. If it's not one of those things that really matters, let it go.