A common plea: I need help to save my marriage - what can I do? Here is one issue you can work on for immediate results

To repair a broken relationship, experts say, one of the first things you and spouse need to do is eliminate fighting.

You may be wondering if eliminating fighting will really make that big a difference. After all, even a healthy relationship, the kind that doesn t need saving, experiences some fighting. It s a part of life, right?

Well, so is cancer. For that matter, so are rape and heart disease.

Do you really want to accept a poisonous element like fighting as status quo?

Fighting is harmful. There is no way you will be able to repair damage in your relationship if you and your spouse continue to hurt each other.

Fighting is destructive. Fighting can have long-lasting, detrimental effects. You accept this fact in all other aspects of your life - you know what fighting would do to your relationships with co-workers, immediate family or friends. Accept that fighting can cause severe injury to a fragile relationship, and stop doing it.

Winning a fight only feels good for the moment. Moreover, once the moment has passed, you re left with significantly more resentment in your relationship, a significant impediment to fixing your relationship.

Although it may be difficult, if you want to your relationship to be saved, you have to stop fighting with your spouse. It breaks down to a simple choice - fight for the sake of fighting, or fight to resurrect your relationship.