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Can I Save My Marriage?
Can your marriage be saved? That depends on what you're putting into it.
- More money will not save your marriage. True, money is the thing most couples fight over. If you're fighting over money, then it might seem like having more would be the solution. But it's not. Having more money will not get at the underlying root of your marital problems. Money is a symptom, not a solution.
- Having a baby will not save your marriage. Sure, having children seems like a way to bring you and your spouse closer. But children—whatever blessings they bring to a family—also bring more stress, less time together, and cost money to raise. Don't make a baby your marriage counselor.
Okay then, if babies and money won't save your marriage, what will?
- Communication will save your marriage. You must keep talking and you must be honest. Being less than honest, not saying what you mean, saying everything's fine when it's not: none of that will get you what you want. Communicate your feelings, but do it respectfully. Be aware that you communicate with your body and your tone, as well as your words.
- Realistic expectations will save your marriage. Your spouse is one person, after all; he or she can't be all things to you. People are fallible. And quirky. And they get tired. And they don't always want to have sex. And they can't get to everything that must be done. Try seeing your spouse in a realistic light.
- A strong commitment will save your marriage. If you both want to save your marriage, you'll save it. If you are committed and your spouse isn't, you may not. Don't contemplate divorce at the first sign of trouble. People who are committed don't run from problems: they solve them.