topics
Stopping Divorce: The First Step
You're in separate homes, the children have been told, the papers have been filed. And now, for whatever reason, you are rethinking the decision to divorce. What can you do to stop the proceedings? Very little, if your spouse is determined to see it through. In most states, a spouse determined to divorce can continue the proceedings over your objections. So what recourse do you have?
Stopping a divorce can begin only with persuasion. Arrange a meeting with your spouse, preferably in a place where neither of you feels vulnerable. Avoid places deliberately meant to manipulate your spouse's feelings, like the coffee shop where you first met or the restaurant where he proposed. Once there, lay out the reasons for stopping (or at least stalling) the divorce. Those reasons might include:
- A desire to seek additional counseling;
- A sense that not everything has been tried to reconcile your differences;
- A willingness to take responsibility for your own actions;
- A recognition that communication between you has not been clear; or
- A need for his or her continued presence in your life.
Above all, emphasize that commitment is a decision, not a feeling, and that very few differences cannot be reconciled if the people involved are willing to compromise and communicate.