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Category: Pre-Marital Counseling

Reading, Writing, Relationships – Curriculum of the Future?

Researchers, legislators, and some teachers are questioning the value of elective classes in high schools that are teaching children about healthy relationships and marriage.

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Young Adults Choosing Stay-Over Relationships Instead of Marriage

“Stayovers are the unique answer to what emerging adults are doing in their relationships.” said Tyler Jamison, a researcher in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies (HDFS), describing the findings from a new study. Stayovers, a term used to describe a committed relationship in which both partners maintain their own residence but spend several nights a week together, are on the rise in college aged people, but little research has been conducted to ascertain if these relationships eventually lead to marriage. Jamison noted, “A key motivation is to enjoy the comforts of an intimate relationship while maintaining a …(See More)

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How to Overcome Fear of Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is the foundation of a fulfilling and loving relationship. But many people fear intimacy and never allow themselves to completely share themselves with their partner. In a recent article, relationship expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D., addresses what two factors are at the root of this fear and how to overcome them. She states that the two reasons people fear intimacy is fear of rejection and fear of engulfment, or losing oneself. Although these fears exist in every relationship, she says, “When the fears of rejection and engulfment become too great, a person may decide that it is just too …(See More)

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When the Going Gets Tough, Hang in There

The beginning stages of a relationship are thrilling and flawless. But before long, the rose colored glasses have started to fade and things don’t look so rosy anymore. When couples begin to face conflicts, they often believe it is easier to leave the relationship than to do the hard work of sticking it out. But in a recent article, Margaret Paul, Ph.D., a relationship expert, explains why this is not always the best option. She says, “The people I work with often believe that it would be easier to start over with someone else, or easier to be alone. I …(See More)

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How Do You Know When Your Partner is the Right One for You?

Many people enter counseling wondering if the person they are in a relationship with is the right person for them. In a recent article, Margaret Paul, Ph.D., relationship expert and author, explains why this happens and how people can avoid ending up with the wrong person. Paul says that people who are looking for a relationship are often trying to find someone who will fill the voids they feel within themselves. “The problem is that no one can do this for you; it is something you need to learn to do for yourself. Because we are always attracted to people …(See More)

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Do Relationships Suffer From Long Commutes?

According to a recent article, long distance relationships are more likely to end in a separation. Erika Sandow, a social geographer at Umea University in Sweden, conducted a study to determine the effects of long-term commuting on a relationship. Most people who commute for work do so in order to increase their economic situation and to have more employment opportunities. But commuting can cause stress in a relationship because it decreases the amount of time someone can spend with their friends and family. Additionally, most of the 11 percent of Swedes who commute are parents of young children, and the …(See More)

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Are Your First Impressions of Your Partner Accurate?

Don’t disregard first impressions in a new relationship. A recent study suggests that most people are very accurate in determining someone’s personality traits from a brief encounter. After only a three minute meeting, people involved in the study were asked to describe the person they had just met. Overall, the answers were rather accurate. The authors explain the importance of these findings by saying, “Many important decisions are made after very brief encounters—which job candidate to hire, which person to date, which student to accept.” However, they also advise caution. “Although our first impressions are generally accurate, it is it …(See More)

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I’ll Say It If Your Say It First…

A new study reveals that contrary to popular belief, men are just as pleased to hear those three little magic words as women. In fact, they are usually the first to utter the phrase “I love you.” Psychologist Josh Ackerman, of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, questioned over 200 heterosexual men and women and discovered that in most cases, men had spoken those long-awaited words before the woman. “We are constantly bombarded by this idea that love is about women, in a sense,” Ackerman says. “Women are the more emotional ones, and men hide their feelings. But that doesn’t necessarily …(See More)

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Controlling Partners Prone to Other Abusive Behavior

New research shows that a high number of women who are in controlling relationships also experience physical or sexual abuse by their partner. “In addition, this awareness of the high rates of controlling behavior and the overlap with relationship violence, particularly for young people, may affect how they view health care provider-based screening and how honestly they might answer screening questions.” said Marina Catallozzi, M.D., of the Mailman School of Public Health, Columbia University, and colleagues who conducted the study. “An awareness that young women may not be comfortable disclosing information honestly should prompt carefully crafted, repeated, and novel screening …(See More)

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Annoyed with Your New Love? You’re Not Alone

In a recent article, psychologist and author Marc Muchnick, Ph.D., revealed several behaviors that cause friction in new relationships and how to overcome them. He recognized that people got annoyed when they felt they were being taken advantage of or when their feelings were being ignored. Active listening, as opposed to trying to fix problems, was the third most common behavior that caused complications in new relationships. Muchnick suggests sharing your frustrations with your mate will open the lines of communication. He cautions to be aware that everybody reacts differently to criticism and to not let feelings of anger or …(See More)

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